I would guess that most foreigners in Korea don’t spend much time in front of their Samsung TVs because our homes are little English islands full of English books, English music and English TV/movies on the internet. Sometimes, though, you just don’t want to lay in bed with your laptop resting on your stomach, the screen 6 inches from your face. (Read: you are hungover.) This is the critical time when you turn on your TV and hope to God there’s an American/British film on NOT starring Steven Seagal. (Although his website is the most amazing combination of martial arts, arrogance and energy drinks you’ve ever seen.)
Steven Seagal, pandering to his audience
It is this precise circumstance that has brought you this list – a list of 5 inexplicably overplayed English-language films on Korean TV. And why I can’t stop watching them.
5. Kung Fu Panda
“In a land of tradition and honor…” East meets West – I totally get it; of course it would be on TV here all the time. But why, WHY can’t I stop watching it? I don’t like it. It’s boring as hell. Jack Black shouts a lot about being a panda bear. And I can’t even identify the animal that Dustin Hoffman voices. Still, I’ll watch it to the very super-stylized Asian credits.
4. Any of the Harry Potter Movies
I totally dig the Harry Potter movies. I’m a big dorky bookworm and the most immature person around. So kids’ movies, yes, all the time, always.
3. Open Range
Now we’re getting into semi-obscure territory. But oh my god guys do I love westerns. And this movie is rad, and like, one third of it is a gunfight and it is ALWAYS on TV. Wide shots of the American plains, old cowboys, blood. There isn’t much more you can ask for.
2. Last of the Mohicans
Yes, YESSSS colonial American history! French and Indian War! Redcoats! Fighting British Absolutism! Hurons just pounding some white dudes in the FACE with tomahawks! DANIEL DAY LEWIS’S HAAAIIRRR! If anyone ever was like, “Hm, I want to make a motion picture just for Erin” this would be that movie.
1. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Ok, so if someone else was like, “I want to make Erin a movie too!” this would be the other movie. Why? Drunk friars! Morgan Freeman delivering a baby via C-section in the woods! “I’ll cut your heart out with a spoooooooon!!” Sean Connery cameos! Archery competitions! Medieval tree house villages! Attempted rape in a satanist chapel! (For reals, watch the movie.) And the real cherry on top: Bryan Adams’ timeless classic “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”. (ohmigod i love parenthetical song titles.) Feel the romance and the adventure and see a rock band jam in front of some castle ruins!
